hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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