dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
