i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
