This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
