you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
