I'm lost and stupid without you.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
