you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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