I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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