Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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