is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
