dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
