That's intense
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
