Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
