Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
