Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
third nipple confirmed
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
