First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
