Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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