how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
