The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
