Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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