i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
