just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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