I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
