Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
