Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think I am morally bankrupt
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
