I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
