Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
