jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
