So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
