the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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