You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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