Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
