i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
