i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
