please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he was CRYING into my vagina
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
