it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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