Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize