I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
