I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
