oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
