you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
