problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize