we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
