I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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