I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize