My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it's great music for shaving your balls
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize