Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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