Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
