I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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