You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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