hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize