Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
