When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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