I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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