so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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