Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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