i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
