I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I seem to have left my pride at pride
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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