I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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