she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
