I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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