I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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