This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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