if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
