Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is Oprah even human
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
