3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You need Xanax blowdarts
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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